Blog: Category: Thrive

Humans are primed to react to a threat with a stress response. In modern society, we may no longer find ourselves facing tigers in the wild; however, our bodies may react with similar biological, fight-flight responses when we feel intense stress. The demands of parenting can be a source of stress, and, often, the stress we feel from parenting may be amplified when we respond to our actions and thoughts with self-judgement. Maybe you were late for your child’s school play due to traffic or your teenager approached you with sexual health questions that you didn’t answer with the level of comfort and openness you wish you had. Experiences such as these may leave you with an inner dialogue that is berating and discouraging.

The good news is that our brains are malleable, and we can limit self-criticism and unkind self-talk! Using compassion-based strategies, like mindfulness and meditation, can help us as they can calm and redirect our minds towards positive qualities such as gratitude, patience, kindness, and connection.

In the 1970s, Dr. Herbert Benson, a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School, identified and named the functional attribute of some compassion-based strategies (e.g., meditation, yoga, deep religious prayer) as “The Relaxation Response.” Benson indicated this response was the opposite of the body’s fight-flight response; it encouraged the body to release chemicals and signals that caused organs to slow (e.g., reduced heart rate), muscles to relax, and blood to flow to the brain (Mitchell, 2013; Powell, 2018). Research now confirms that compassion-based strategies can help individuals relax, reduce stress, and see benefits in mental and physical health. In addition, using these strategies may even promote longevity (Black & Slavich, 2016; Epel et al., 2009; Powell, 2018)!

The meaning of the word compassion comes from Latin, and it translates into “to suffer with.” Most definitions suggest that compassion encompasses both feeling or being moved by another’s suffering and wanting to take action to help (Strauss, 2016). Research reviews indicate that compassion consists of three dimensions. First, noticing a person’s suffering either cognitively or as a physical or affective reaction (e.g., awareness of another person’s mood or attitude). Second, feeling or reacting emotionally with concern in such a way that the other person’s perspective of the suffering is imagined or understood. Third, responding based on a desire to act and alleviate the other person’s suffering (Kanov et al., 2004; Strauss, 2016). Compassion can be felt for ourself, others we know, and individuals we have never met (e.g., refuges in a war-torn country).

Below are two compassion-based strategies that can be used to promote relaxation, better self-care, and loving-kindness towards yourself and others.

• Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. Mindfulness increases interoception, which is the ability to sense the internal state of one’s body. Attention to the present moment can help break the cycle of negative mental ruminations such as belittling yourself all day because you forgot to put a piece of fruit in your child’s lunch box in the morning!
• Meditation is a grounding practice with an anchor such as focusing on your breathing. Meditation allows one to be calm and observe their inner experience without judgement.

In recent years, evidence in support of compassion-based strategies has grown. Consider just a few examples below:

• In 2012, researchers (Desbordes et al.) conducted the first brain scans, known as functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), of individuals after meditation training. The individuals experienced changes in the activity of their amygdala, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for emotional processing—especially fear and anxiety. These findings reinforce the concept that meditation can positively affect mental function outside of a meditative state and that our minds are trainable!
• Researchers have demonstrated that meditation practices produce positive emotions, which can lead to growth in personal resources (e.g., increased sense of purpose and social support, decreased illness symptoms) that predict increased life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms (Fredrickson et al., 2008).
• In 2018, an overview of scientific evidence related to compassion-based interventions and loving-kindness meditation was highlighted in the Harvard Review of Psychology. The researchers indicated, in this overview, that conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, chronic pain, and post-traumatic stress disorder could be positively affected through use of these types of interventions and strategies as part of a treatment plan (Graser & Stangier, 2018).
• Studies have repeatedly shown the impacts of self-compassion upon parenting. For example, a 2015 study (Robinson et al.) showed that when parents of individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, such as autism, possessed self-compassion, they had lower levels of stress and depression. In addition, a review in 2017 revealed that parents who used mindfulness strategies experienced reduced distress when parenting children with disabilities (Ryan & Ahmad, 2017). Furthermore, possessing self-compassion has been shown to be a resource for supporting mothers’ general well-being and their ability to breastfeed throughout the first year of their baby’s life (Mitchell et al., 2018).

There are many benefits to being mindful and practicing meditation; they include the following:

• These practices can create a calm state.
• These practices allow for detachment from emotions, which may provide a buffer in responding to circumstances or people. As an individual separates themself from their thoughts and feelings, they may recognize that who they are is distinct from what they think and feel, especially in times of stress. For parents, this recognition allows individuals to go from reacting to stress in habitual or automatic ways to responding to stress with awareness. This mindfulness can help a parent to recognize and understand their thoughts, reactions, and behaviors in the moment and to parent with more gentleness and warmth (Kabat-Zinn, J. & Kabat-Zinn, M., 2021).
• These practices allow individuals to connect with their authentic self and to send loving-kindness to themselves and others. Social connections are imperative to well-being. An 85-year Harvard research study recently demonstrated that close relationships are the key to human happiness—this includes a compassionate relationship with yourself (Liebergall, 2023)!
• These practices increase an individual’s capacity to focus and remain on task.

Want to begin using compassion-based strategies?

Getting started can be as simple as taking 1 minute a day to sit tall with eyes closed or focused downward while quietly paying attention to your breath. Many of us have a few minutes each day of purposeless social media scrolling that could be replaced with a moment of mindfulness.

Below are a few example practices for you to try.

Sample Mindful Activity:

1. Stretch a bit or shake your arms or body to release any emotions.
2. Close your eyes, or glance downward.
3. Now, listen. What are two things you hear (e.g., clock ticking)?
4. What are two sensations you feel (e.g., warmth of a sweater, breeze from a fan)?
5. What are two scents you smell (e.g., perfume, candle)?
6. Open your eyes, and look around slowly. What are two items you see (e.g., sun outside the window)?

This simple activity can show you how much stimuli you experience during every moment but may not notice or acknowledge.

Sample Mindfulness Meditation – Focus on Breathing:

1. Sit tall and comfortably with your eyes closed, or glance downward.
2. Direct your attention to your breathing. Focus on slowly breathing in and out.
3. As you inhale and exhale, pay attention to the sensation of your breathing in a single part of your body such as your nose, mouth, chest, or abdomen. For example, you might put a hand on your abdomen and focus on the rising and falling of your abdomen with each breath cycle.

It is natural for your mind to wander! Simply notice and bring your attention back to your breath, and be mindful of the present moment.

Here is a website for guidance on meditating for beginners: https://www.tenpercent.com/meditations/how-to-meditate

Loving-kindness Meditation:

Loving-kindness meditation is a technique used to promote feelings of warmth and caring for oneself and others. Unlike mindfulness meditation, which involves training one’s attention toward the present moment in a nonjudgmental way, loving-kindness meditation involves quiet contemplation and directs one’s positive emotions towards oneself and others in an open-hearted way.

1. Sit quietly with your eyes closed, or glance downward.
2. Breathe slowly and deeply.
3. Focus on your heart region. You might place your hand(s) on your chest.
4. Imagine yourself with inner peace, and know you are enough and whole as you are. Breathe in love; breathe out tension.
5. As you breathe, repeat one or more positive phrases to yourself, such as the following:

• • I am meant to live in peace.
  • I am safe.
  • I am loved.
  • May I be happy and peaceful.

6. Shift your attention, and think about a person for whom you feel warm and tender feelings (e.g., your child, a friend). You might visualize the person sitting in front of you.
7. Mentally extend gratitude and warm feelings to this person.
8. As you grow this practice, you may wish to also extend feelings of connection and compassion to others, such as an acquaintance, global populations who are suffering, or individuals with whom you are in conflict, as a way to invite forgiveness or peace.
9. When you are finished, slowly open your eyes, and internalize the feelings of loving kindness, so you can tap into them throughout the day.

Other Self-compassion Techniques:

When you are enduring parenting stress, receiving feelings of support and comfort can offer relief. Consider the following techniques:

• Think of a family member or friend, and consider ways in which they previously brought you peace. Did your grandmother stroke your hair as you lay in her lap? Did your father use a term of endearment to cheer you when you were downtrodden? Did a friend brighten your day with a smile and laughter last time you were together?
• Comfort yourself with loving actions, such as putting your hand over your heart or giving yourself a hug, and whisper kind words to yourself such as “I love you” or “You can do this.”
• Take a momentary break and acknowledge your current parenting challenge or demand. Recognize that other parents have and are currently feeling the way you do! Extend compassion to yourself.
• Recognize that you are not alone. Your biological makeup consists of many generations before you! Draw on the resiliency of your ancestors by picturing yourself surrounded by family members or others who love and support you.

(Abdullah, 2018)

News articles that warn Americans of the dangers of climate change are not new; however, you may have recently noticed an increase in air-quality alerts and, perhaps, poorer air quality in your backyard. This situation is, in large part, due to smoke and fine particle matter from Canadian wildfires that are traveling hundreds of miles into the continental United States. Protecting your family’s health from air pollution is important at any time, but, with the increase in air-quality alerts, you may be particularly interested in addressing this concern and reducing your family’s risks.

Understand the types of air pollution.

The Clean Air Act regulates major air pollutants in the United States. Below are descriptions of two major sources of air pollution:

• Particle pollution is a combination of solid and liquid droplets in the air, such as dust, dirt, smoke, pollen, mold spores, and soot. Particle pollution can be especially high when you are near busy traffic areas, when smoke is present (e.g., camp fires, wildfires), and when the weather is calm, and the air is stagnant (e.g., hot, humid day versus a windy, rainy, or snowy day). Particle pollution often has a seasonal pattern based on location (e.g., more wood stove use in cooler weather months in the mountains).
• Ground-level ozone pollution forms in sunlight from sources like vehicles, power plants, and industrial facilities (e.g., areas of fracking; large-scale animal operations) and can be found in products that are not environmentally friendly (i.e., paints or solvents). This type of air pollution intensifies with heat, so it is especially concerning in the afternoon and in the early evening on hot, sunny days. Therefore, it is best to plan your family’s outdoor activities when it is cool outside or in the morning when air quality is better.

National air-quality standards are set by the Environmental Protection Agency. In addition to particle pollution and ground-level ozone pollution, the following chemicals are major pollutants that can impact air quality:

• Carbon monoxide is a poisonous gas that is colorless and odorless. It results from the incomplete burning of natural gas or products that contain carbon (e.g., wood, oil, coal, kerosene, propane). This gas can be produced within or around homes from sources such as gas water heaters, vehicle exhaust, faulty heating sources, and charcoal grills (Penn Medicine, 2021).
• Sulfur dioxide is a naturally occurring gas that consists of sulfur and oxygen. It causes acid rain. This gas results from burning fossil fuels like coal (United States Environmental Protection Agency, 2008).
• Nitrogen dioxide is a respiratory irritant that precedes ozone formation. The main source of it is combustion sources like vehicles, power plants, and industrial engines (United States Environmental Protection Agency, 2010).

Monitor air quality as air pollution is more problematic for children.

Children are at greater risk of incurring health complications due to air pollution. Monitoring your child’s environment for poor air quality is critical for the following reasons:

• Children tend to be shorter than adults and are closer to the ground; therefore, they are more likely to breathe pollution particles that have settled.
• Children are more likely than adults to spend time outdoors engaging in physical activity (e.g., play, school recess).
• Children’s respiratory rates are faster than adults. So, they breathe in more air in comparison to their body weight than adults do.
• Children’s bodies and their organs are still developing. This means that they are sensitive to environmental toxins. Air pollution can reduce lung-function development and affect the growth and development of the brain and central nervous system, which controls activities like learning, emotion, self-control, problem-solving, and memory (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2021; Brumberg et al., 2021; Mahnke et al., 2023).

Remember, children, especially infants and toddlers, are unable to monitor their exposure to air pollution and modify their environment on their own. You play an important role in protecting them!

Check your local Air Quality Index regularly.

One of the simplest ways to be vigilant is to assess your local air quality. The official United States Air Quality Index (AQI) is a color-coded index, which is designed to inform individuals whether their local outdoor air quality is healthy or unhealthy. The highest ratings have a value over 151 and are coded red (unhealthy), purple (very unhealthy), and hazardous (maroon).

AirNow, is a website supported by the United States Environmental Protection Agency and its partners. This website allows users to enter a zip code, city, or state to immediately receive an Air Quality Index report for their local air quality. Users can also access a variety of other information on the website, including forecast air-quality reports, health activity guides, and interactive air-quality maps for more than 500 cities across the United States.

Stay apprised of circumstances that may impact your air quality! If you are concerned, check the Air Quality Index for your community before taking your child outdoors to engage in physical activity. This will empower you to take precautions as needed to protect your family’s health.

Recognize and prepare to guard against the dangers of air pollution.

Air pollution is a potential threat to all children’s health. It has been associated with respiratory infections, asthma, preterm births, low birth weight, infant mortality, abnormal lung development, neurodevelopmental disorders (i.e., growth and development of the brain and/or central nervous system), cognitive effects and IQ loss, autism, pediatric cancers, obesity, and risks for other chronic diseases later in adult life (e.g., diabetes, cardiovascular disease, pulmonary disease; American Academy of Pediatrics, 2021; Brumberg et al., 2021; Mahnke et al., 2023).

Some populations are at increased risk from air-pollution exposure. Older adults and individuals with health conditions, such as heart or lung disease, are at greater risk when air quality is poor. For these individuals, the impacts of breathing polluted air can include hospitalization or death (AirNow, n.d.). In children with chronic health conditions such as asthma, allergies, or other chronic diseases, air pollution has been shown to worsen health conditions (Mahnke et al., 2023). Children living in poverty and children of marginalized races/ethnicities are more likely to reside in areas in which United States air-quality standards are not met and where they experience elevated exposures to hazardous air pollutants that are known to cause health conditions like cancers (Brumberg et al, 2021; Mahnke et al., 2023). Residents who live in geographic areas that are affected by environmental factors like extreme or prolonged heat, droughts, or wildfires can encounter increased risks; air pollution can present in these communities as smog, dust, smoke, and elevated ozone and carbon dioxide (Mahnke et al., 2023).
During times of poor air quality, any individual can experience symptoms like the following:

• Undergoing eye, nose, or throat irritation;
• Coughing or experiencing increased phlegm production; or
• Having difficulty breathing (e.g., chest tightness, shortness of breath).

Children may have more trouble breathing than other individuals when the air quality is poor, especially when smoke or ash is present. Respiratory hazards, like mold, nuisance dust (e.g., pollen or dust from sanding wood), andwildfire smoke, can be reduced through the use of a respirator or mask by adults and children 2 years old or older. For information on the function and fit of different types of respirators and masks, review information provided by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH).

Take small actions to make a big difference in the air we breathe!

Breathing is essential to life, and everyone can do their part to reduce air pollution. Natural experiments, like traffic restrictions during the 1996 and 2008 Olympics and curtailment of commercial flights during the COVID-19 pandemic’s state-of-emergency restrictions, have demonstrated that air-quality improvements are possible and can have positive impacts on community health (Brumberg et al., 2021; Friedman et al., 2001; Mueller et al., 2022; Wang et al., 2009). Below are some steps you can take to reduce the negative health impacts that poor air quality can cause, so the air your child breathes is safe and helps them grow healthy!

• When air quality conditions are poor, remain indoors and keep windows closed. Limit vigorous outdoor activity.
• If possible, choose a home and child care or school that are not located close to heavy traffic or sources of pollution (e.g., dry cleaning store, airports).
• Plant trees and add plants to your outdoor green space to help filter the air. Mulch or compost leaves and yard waste instead of burning them.
• Reduce carbon emissions with a cleaner commute—walk, cycle, carpool, or use public transportation.
• Some emerging data suggest that vitamins C, D, and E might mitigate the oxidative effects of air pollution (Brumberg et al, 2021). Feed your child(ren) healthy meals that include quality proteins and fruits and vegetables (e.g., citrus fruits, dark leafy greens, seafood, eggs, mushrooms, asparagus, almonds). [Caution: Avoid feeding your child any foods that are known allergens for them.]
• Purchase a portable carbon dioxide detector to monitor problems with air circulation in your home or travel sites. Elevated carbon dioxide levels can cause drowsiness, headaches, poor concentration, dizziness, increased heart rate or blood pressure, and nausea. At the highest levels, oxygen deprivation can result and lead to convulsions, coma, and death.
• Consider upgrading your heating/cooling source to a heat pump or ductless heat pump, or use electric heat for more efficiency and to reduce carbon emissions. Use high-efficiency particulate absorbing (HEPA) air filters in your heating, ventilation, and air conditioning (HVAC) system.
• Purchase zero-emission vehicles, and combine trips for errands to avoid multiple ignition starts and idling. Keep your vehicle’s tires inflated to the recommended pressure, and try to avoid spillage when fueling. Ensure your gas cap is tightened after fueling.
• Keep all vehicles’ (e.g., car, boat) engines maintained to prevent smoking.
• Turn off lights and other devices (e.g., televisions, computers) when not in use.
• Properly use environmentally safe household and garden products (e.g., cleaners, paints), and seal them well to prevent evaporation. Look for products marked as low-volatile organic compounds (i.e., low-VOC).
• When buying appliances and equipment, purchase items with Energy Star labels as they will conserve energy.
• Set your air conditioner at a higher temperature in the summer, and set your heating source at a lower temperature in the winter.
• Reduce fireplace and wood stove use. Use gas logs instead of wood if possible. If you must burn wood, visit the Burn Wise Program for clean strategies. Limit the use of candles.
• Avoid smoking tobacco products or exposing your child to second hand tobacco smoke from others.
• Advocate for renewable energy; reduced reliance on coal, gas, and oil; and regulations on industrial emissions.