Effective Discipline

As a child grows, they will increasingly encounter rules and expectations in multiple settings, such as their home and school. In order to assist their child in meeting these expectations, parents can use methods, like effective discipline, to help their child learn how to self-regulate and manage their behaviors. Your child can discover what behaviors are accepted and desired while they learn to understand the purpose and benefits of the rules they are expected to follow. When your child understands what actions are permissible, they are better able to choose behaviors that are accepted and rewarded!

To learn more, watch the Effective Discipline mini-booster module video, below, that was developed by Thrive!


The universal Thrive parent-education programs (i.e., Take Root, Sprout, Grow, and Branch Out), supplemental modules, and mini-booster modules are available for all parents for free at https://thrive.psu.edu.

Tips for Teaching Children to Brush Their Teeth on Their Own

As children reach toddlerhood (i.e., age 1 to 3 years), they begin to increasingly show signs of independence. Their strong desire to complete tasks independently is often displayed in activities of daily living like getting dressed and brushing their teeth. Because young children do not always have the concentration or control to brush their teeth by themselves, parents need to find ways to encourage their child’s self-help skills while supervising their efforts. Consider the following tips to help teach your child about the toothbrushing process and to build their confidence as they learn to brush their teeth on their own.

Brushing Basics

Toothbrush

Ensure your child has a soft-bristled toothbrush with a thick handle and a small brushing head. Your child may be able to choose from a variety of kid-friendly toothbrushes that are available in vibrant colors and have fun characters on the handle.

Toothpaste

Select a toothpaste that contains fluoride and has a taste and texture that your child likes. If your child does not respond well to one toothpaste, try another with a different flavor.

Brushing Angle

For the outer surfaces and most inner surfaces of their teeth, teach your child to hold their toothbrush horizontally at a 45-degree angle. For the front, inner surfaces of their teeth, teach your child to hold their toothbrush vertically across their teeth. For the chewing surfaces, your child may lay the toothbrush flat across those teeth to brush.

Brushing Motion

Show your child how to brush along the line where their teeth and gums meet in short, circular strokes or long, up-and-down strokes. Both the circular and up-and-down techniques are acceptable, according to the American Dental Association (ADA).

Brushing Time

Watch the clock, set the timer, play a song, or use a mobile app to help keep your child engaged for at least 2 minutes while they brush their teeth.

Toothbrush Replacement

Replace your child’s toothbrush every 3 to 4 months, or replace your child’s toothbrush sooner if the bristles appear to be visibly frayed.

Brushing Expectations by Age

From birth to first tooth (around 6 months old), use a clean, damp washcloth or gauze to wipe your child’s gums clean after each feeding.

Upon the arrival of your child’s first tooth (around 6 months) to 3 years old, apply a smear of toothpaste (approximately the size of a grain of rice) to your child’s toothbrush and begin to brush your child’s teeth twice a day—once in the morning and once at night. Begin to gently floss between your child’s teeth when they have two teeth that touch.

When your child is between the ages of 3 years to 6 years old, apply a pea-sized amount of toothpaste to your child’s toothbrush, and brush 2 times a day for at least 2 minutes. Assist your child with their teeth brushing (and flossing) until they can rinse and spit out the toothpaste rather than swallowing it.

How to Teach Your Child to Brush Their Teeth

If your child has learned to rinse and spit out their toothpaste instead of swallowing the toothpaste (usually around 5 to 6 years old), it may be time for you to encourage them to brush their teeth on their own. Here are some techniques you can use to help your child learn to independently brush their teeth.

Break the process into small steps. Teach your child to brush their teeth in sections. Focus on the outer surface, the inner surface, and chewing surface of one quadrant (i.e., upper left, lower left, upper right, and lower right) for 30 seconds before moving on to the next quadrant.

Show and tell. Prepare your toothbrush with toothpaste and stand or kneel next to your child. You can face your child or both of you can face the mirror. Direct your child to copy your movements and the sections you are focusing on as you both brush your teeth together. You may use analogies like the train wheels moving across the train tracks.

Hold their hand. Wrap your hand around your child’s hand to help guide the way your child holds their toothbrush and the way they move the toothbrush across their gums and teeth.

Take turns. Encourage your child to brush their teeth first while you supervise them. Use your words to help guide them on where to brush. Let them know that you plan to “check their work” when they finish. Use the “checking” stage to brush the areas they may have missed.

Sing a song. Sing a song or create your own song to a familiar melody (e.g., Row, Row, Row Your Boat) to help explain to your child the steps for brushing their teeth.

Consider your child’s temperament and learning style when determining which teaching technique to use. Feel free to try different techniques or combine techniques until you find the model that works for you and your child. With your continued guidance, your child will establish a consistent oral health routine, maintain good toothbrushing practices, and prepare to brush their teeth by themself. When you teach your child how to properly care for their primary teeth, it can set the stage for the health of their adult teeth and their oral hygiene practices for years to come.

Additional Resources

The Give a Kids A Smile® Program in association with the ADA (American Dental Association, 2020) provides resource sheets for parents and caregivers. Here are additional healthy habits that they offer parents and caregivers to consider as they help their child maintain a healthy smile and oral health.

  • Begin taking your child to dental visits when their first tooth appears or by the time they turn 1 year old, whichever comes first.
  • Encourage your child to eat healthy foods (e.g., fruits, vegetables, lean meats) to protect their teeth’s health. Limit cavity-causing treats like candy, sugary beverages, sodas, snacks, and sticky sweets.
  • Encourage your child, who is at least 1 year old, to drink water between meals. The ADA suggests that water with the fluoride is the best drink for your child’s teeth.

The South Carolina Department of Health and Environmental Control Division of Oral Health offers activities and resources for infants and children who are up to 4 years old. Find the resource here: https://scdhec.gov/sites/default/files/Library/ML-025192.pdf

The ADA provides several resources to help you take care of your child’s teeth through their Mouth Healthy™ campaign. A few of these resources can be found at the following:

References

American Dental Association. (2020). Tiny smiles. https://www.ada.org/-/media/project/ada-organization/ada/ada-org/files/resources/public-programs/give-kids-a-smile/ada-gkasts-eng_dental_professionals.pdf

American Dental Association. (2022, October 7). Toothbrushes.https://www.ada.org/en/resources/research/science-and-research-institute/oral-health-topics/toothbrushes

Early Childhood Learning and Knowledge Center. (2023, April 26). Brushing your child’s teeth. https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/publication/brushing-your-childs-teeth

Harrisburg Smiles. (2020, October 22). How to teach your child to brush their teeth—Your guide to the process. https://harrisburgsmilesdental.com/how-to-teach-your-child-to-brush-their-teeth-your-guide-to-the-process/

Jana, L. A., & Shu, J. (2021, May 25). Let the brushing games begin. Healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/oral-health/Pages/Let-the-Brushing-Games-Begin.aspx

Oraljel Kids. (n.d.). Six creative ways to get your kids to brush their teeth. https://www.orajelkids.com/en/resources/six-creative-ways-to-get-your-kids-to-brush-their-teeth

Shahangian, J. (2017, January 13). How do I get my preschooler to let me brush her teeth? Healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/tips-tools/ask-the-pediatrician/Pages/How-do-I-get-my-preschooler-to-let-me-brush-her-teeth.aspx

Exercising Intelligence: How Physical Activity Nurtures Brain Development in Children

While many parents and caregivers acknowledge that being physically active can produce significant health advantages for children, the full impact of engaging in physical activity on learning and one’s overall well-being might not be entirely evident. Motor-skill development can have a profound effect on children’s social, cognitive, and psychological domains. Below are some examples of how motor-skill development can intertwine with cognitive growth.

Neurological Connection: Neural pathways in the brain connect motor and cognitive functions. When children participate in activities that challenge their motor skills, such as balancing or coordination exercises, they activate brain regions that are responsible for cognitive processes like planning, decision-making, and problem-solving (Best, 2010; Shi et al., 2022; Veldman et al., 2019).

  • What we see: Dale is learning to rollerblade. He moves his arms and legs to maintain balance, move forward, and make adaptations, so he can stay upright as the contours of the sidewalk change.
  • What we don’t see: Dale’s brain is forming connections between the cerebellum and prefrontal cortex—key regions for motor and cognitive functions (Shi et al., 2022). As he encounters environmental cues like bumps and obstacles, his brain swiftly adjusts to maintain balance. This activity improves Dale’s agility, coordination, and cardiovascular fitness and strengthens his cognitive processes, such as attentiveness and perception.

Cognitive Engagement: Cognition is the mental process of acquiring, processing, and storing information, which includes perception, memory, thinking, and imagination (Shi et al., 2022). Acquiring and developing cognitive abilities are essential for survival and development. When children participate in motor activities that require coordination, precision, and goal-directed action, they refine their cognitive skills as they plan, strategize, and adjust their movements to achieve desired outcomes (Gibb et al., 2021; Pesce et al., 2016).

  • What we see: Ella and Nellie are playing a game of “Red Light, Green Light.” Ella moves forward when Nellie says, “green light,” and she stops when Nellie says “red light.” Occasionally, Nellie tries to deceive Ella by saying similar-sounding words.
  • What we don’t see: Ella’s brain is actively involved in various cognitive
    processes, such as comprehending instructions, responding to verbal cues, and suppressing impulsive reactions. Beyond refining her physical coordination, Ella’s brain is exercising her working memory, inhibitory control, and flexibility as she strategically plans and executes actions in pursuit of specific objectives.

Whole-Body Integration: Motor activities often involve the integration of various sensory inputs and whole-body movements. When children engage in activities that require coordination of multiple sensory systems, such as balancing or spatial-awareness tasks, they can refine their attention and concentration skills (Beck, 2022; Bergland, 2015; Cook et al., 2019).

  • What we see: A group of children are playing a game of Hide and Seek. They run, sneak, crawl, hide, and navigate through various hiding spots. Simultaneously, they monitor their surroundings and the movements of other players.
  • What we don’t see: As the children maneuver, they integrate their sensory inputs—vision, hearing, and proprioception (awareness of body position)—to coordinate their movements effectively. Their heightened awareness of the environment and anticipation of others’ actions helps them to adjust and refine their physical coordination, agility, attention, and spatial awareness. In addition, they develop multitasking skills as they simultaneously keep track of various elements.

Skill Transfer: Skills acquired through motor activities can benefit an individual’s cognitive abilities. When children engage in activities like balancing or climbing, they use spatial awareness and planning skills, and these skills can transfer to cognitive tasks such as problem-solving (Bergland, 2015; Shi et al., 2022).

  • What we see: Rajan and Ian are exploring a playground climber. They are pretending the ground is covered with lava and must navigate the climber without touching the ground. They climb up the slide tunnel, grab and travel along the monkey bars, run across a swinging bridge, and slide down a curvy pole.
  • What we don’t see: As Rajan and Ian encounter various obstacles, they challenge their brains to problem-solve in real time. As they balance and coordinate their movements, they utilize spatial reasoning, which enables them to overcome challenges and reach their goal. This process enhances their physical abilities, sharpens their cognitive skills, and fosters adaptability and decision-making. Further, their imaginative play adds an element of creativity and exploration to their experience.

Social Interaction: Participating in physical activities can create opportunities for children to interact with peers and practice social skills, like cooperation. These experiences may promote teamwork and communication skills and can help strengthen bonds and friendships among children (Khan et al., 2023; Shi et al., 2022).

  • What we see: LaShante is playing a game of basketball. As she runs up and down the court, she communicates with her teammates about offense strategies and defense tactics.
  • What we don’t see: LaShante’s involvement in physical activity facilitates her connection with peers. She is developing teamwork skills and learning to coordinate and collaborate within a group. When the team faces challenges, they do so together, which instills respect for each other’s contributions and creates a network of support. Even in defeat, the team’s unity can strengthen, which nurtures a sense of belonging and camaraderie.

Psychological Benefits: Motor development can impact a child’s sense of self-esteem and self-confidence as they master new skills and overcome challenges (Fong Yan et al., 2024). Physical activities trigger the release of endorphins and other neurotransmitters that are associated with positive emotions. Positivity can contribute to stress reduction and improved mental health (Li et al., 2022; Martín-Rodríguez et al., 2024).

  • What we see: Feliks is participating in gymnastics after school. He somersaults and cartwheels on the mat, pulls himself up on the rings, swings on the bars, and performs choreographed routines on a padded floor.
  • What we don’t see: Feliks has found an avenue for self-expression and is able to channel his energy and enthusiasm into dynamic movement. As he immerses himself in different activities, he encounters a shift in neural activity, which leads to a surge of positivity that permeates his psyche. Furthermore, each new skill he learns becomes a source of pride and accomplishment. When he shares his triumphs with his family and friends, he builds confidence and nurtures a strong belief in his capabilities.

Encouraging physical activity and motor-skill development through purposeful play can support children’s physical and cognitive growth. When children engage in activities that challenge their motor skills, these activities can promote growth across a variety of learning domains. For further information and suggestions on integrating physical activity into your child’s daily schedule, please refer to the additional resources below.

References

Beck, C. (2022, June 11). Tag games to develop motor skills. The OT Toolbox. https://www.theottoolbox.com/tag-games/#:~:text=When%20kids%20are%20running%20around,Proprioception

Bergland, C. (2015, July). Want to improve your cognitive abilities? Go climb a tree! Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201507/want-improve-your-cognitive-abilities-go-climb-tree

Best, J. (2010, December). Effects of physical activity on children’s executive function: Contributions of experimental research on aerobic exercise. Developmental Review, 30(4), 331-351. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2010.08.001

Cook, C. J., Howard, S. J., Scerif, G., Twine, R., Kahn, K., Norris, S. A., & Draper, C. E. (2019, September). Associations of physical activity and gross motor skills with executive function in preschool children from low-income South African settings. Developmental Science, 22, e12820. https://doi.org/10.1111/desc.12820

Fong Yan, A., Nicholson, L. L., Ward, R. E., Hiller, C. E., Dovey, K., Parker, H. M., Low, L., Moyle, G., & Chan, C. (2024, January). The effectiveness of dance interventions on psychological and cognitive health outcomes compared with other forms of physical activity: A systematic review with meta-analysis. Sports Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40279-023-01990-2

Gibb, R., Coelho, L., Van Rootselaar, N. A., Halliwell, C., MacKinnon, M., Plomp, I., & Gonzalez, C. L. R. (2021, December). Promoting executive function skills in preschoolers using a play-based program. Frontiers in Psychology12, 720225. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.720225

Khan, A., Werner-Seidler, A., Hidajat, T., Feng, J., Huang, W., & Rosenbaum, S. (2023, December). Association between sports participation and psychosocial wellbeing of Australian children: An 8-year longitudinal study. Journal of Adolescent Health, 73(6)1117-1124. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2023.07.011

Li, J., Huang, Z., Si, W., & Shao, T. (2022, November). The effects of physical activity on positive emotions in children and adolescents: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health19(21). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph192114185

Martín-Rodríguez, A., Gostian-Ropotin, L. A., Beltrán-Velasco, A. I., Belando-Pedreño, N., Simón, J. A., López-Mora, C., Navarro-Jiménez, E., Tornero-Aguilera, J. F., & Clemente-Suárez, V. J. (2024, January). Sporting mind: The interplay of physical activity and psychological health. Sports (Basel)12(1), 37. https://doi.org/10.3390/sports12010037

Pesce, C., Masci, I., Marchetti, R., Vazou, S., Sääkslahti, A., & Tomporowski, P. D. (2016, March 10). Deliberate play and preparation jointly benefit motor and cognitive development: Mediated and moderated effects. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 349. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00349

Shi, P., & Feng, X. (2022, November 20). Motor skills and cognitive benefits in children and adolescents: Relationship, mechanism and perspectives. Frontiers in Psychology13, 1017825. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1017825

Veldman, S., Santos, R., Jones, R., Sousa-Sa, E., & Okely, A. (2019, May). Associations between gross motor skills and cognitive development in toddlers. Early Human Development, 132, 39-44. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.earlhumdev.2019.04.005

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

As your child becomes an adolescent and then a teenager, your relationship with them will likely fluctuate. To help maintain consistency in your connections with your child, you can create age-appropriate boundaries and expectations for them by engaging in conversations. Having open conversations with your child in which they can share their opinions and viewpoints regarding rules and limits can create a welcoming atmosphere. By ensuring these rules are obtainable and realistic, you can help your child be successful, build self-esteem, and prepare for the transition to adulthood!

To learn more, watch the Setting Boundaries and Expectations mini-booster module video, below, that was developed by Thrive!

The universal Thrive parent-education programs (i.e., Take Root, Sprout, Grow, and Branch Out), supplemental modules, and mini-booster modules are available for all parents for free at https://thrive.psu.edu.

Celebrating Heritage and Diverse Cultures

Your family’s cultural background can shape your and your child’s (and your extended family member’s) behaviors, lifestyle, and perspectives regarding your community and the world. When children feel a sense of pride and self-esteem with and for their cultural background, their well-being can be positively affected, their perspectives can be diversified, and their contributions to society can be worthwhile and productive. While it is important for children to learn to embrace their roots, it is also important for your child to recognize and accept the diverse cultures and traditions of others. You are your child’s first teacher and their best role model. Show them how to celebrate their heritage and honor the differences in others. Here are some strategies you can use to help your child value the diversity that they and their peers can offer to make the world a beautiful and rich place.

Five Ways to Instill Cultural and Ethnic Pride in Your Children

Exhibit pride in your traditions. Be a role model for your child. Uphold your traditions like cooking cultural foods, wearing traditional garments, and speaking your native language at home. Teach your child love for their roots while maintaining respect for the traditions of others.

Teach your child to feel proud of their heritage. Talk about your cultural background in a positive light. Honestly teach your children about your family’s history, and indicate how your family, including your child, comes from strong and resilient people. Discuss, in an age-appropriate way, the obstacles that you’ve overcome personally and as a member of an ethnic or racial group and the challenges some ethnic and racial groups have confronted and surmounted. Highlight the strengths and positive outcomes that arose from your and others’ persistence and efforts, and remind your child that they, too, possess that same strength and persistence.

Teach your child love for themself. Remind your child that the features that make them unique also make them special. Provide them with affirmations to appreciate their skin, hair, voice, abilities, experiences, and other characteristics that can promote their self-love and self-worth. Praise the actions and behaviors that they do well, and help your child become confident in who they are and in what they believe.

Find books, apps, games, and digital media programming with diverse characters in varied roles. Help your child see themself reflected in media (e.g., books, images, movies, games, social media) and in the activities they love. Recognizing these representations can boost your child’s imagination, expedite their budding aspirations, and help them see themself as the star of their own story.

Get involved in your child’s school. Ensure your ethnicity, traditions, and customs are respected and not ignored. Advocate for observance of your cultural traditions. Encourage visibility of your culture through images, stories, and activities, and be willing to respond appropriately to misrepresentations of your roots.

Five Ways to Honor Differences in Others’ Heritage

Ask questions and acknowledge how our differences make us special. Ensure your child understands that it is okay to ask (and answer) questions related to different cultural backgrounds; however, remind them, that personal heritages and experiences are unique to individuals and families, and one person does not qualify as the spokesperson for their specific cultural group(s). Be prepared to promote understanding and respect, listen openly to other perspectives, and practice cultural competency and humility.

Learn more about other cultures. Consider participating in cultural events and festivals. Read books, visit restaurants, and watch documentaries that represent experiences that are different from your own. However, be mindful not to perpetuate common stereotypes regarding other groups.

Create a welcoming and inclusive environment. Treat others with respect and dignity, and demonstrate tolerance. Recognize the shared humanity among all people. Understand that everyone shares basic needs and desires (e.g., food, safety, love, happiness, peace). Develop sincere relationships with people from different backgrounds who have different abilities and experiences.

Acknowledge and discuss current events related to different racial/ethnic groups with your child. Identify news and events that celebrate diversity, and learn and respect customs associated with various traditional events or holidays. Conversely, create a safe space to discuss your and your child’s feelings regarding racial inequalities and injustices. Listen to your child’s concerns and engage in age-appropriate conversations with them.

Speak up in the face of bias. Embrace differences. Remain calm and self-assured during challenging and even negative times. Encourage your child to stand up for their beliefs. Demonstrate productive ways to challenge negative stereotypes or bring attention to signs that others are being mistreated—whether the representations are in person, in books, on television, or in social media.

Heritage and History Months that Celebrate Diversity

February – Black History Month

March – Women’s History Month, Irish American Heritage Month

April – National Deaf History Month (March 15 – April 15), Arab American Heritage Month

May – Asian American, Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander Heritage; Older Americans Month; Jewish American Heritage Month; Military Appreciation Month

June – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Pride Month; Caribbean American Heritage Month; National Immigrant Heritage Month; World Refugee Day

July – Disability Pride Month

September – National Hispanic-Latinx Heritage Month (September15-October 15)

October – National Disability Employment Awareness Month, National Italian American Heritage Month, LBGTQ+ History Month

November – National American Indian Heritage Month; National Veterans and Military Families Month

Additional Resources

Books:

Common Sense Media provides a list of books that promote diversity and inclusion at https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-that-promote-diversity-and-inclusion.

Healthychildren.org recommends a range of diverse and inclusive reading materials for children at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/Diverse-and-Inclusive-Books-for-Children.aspx.

Healthychildren.org also offers suggestions on how books can help families discuss topics related to race and racism at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/using-books-to-talk-with-kids-about-race-and-racism.aspx.

Apps and Games:

Common Sense Media provides a list of apps and games that have diverse characters who represent multicultural experiences and perspectives and that can support families in diversifying their media selections. Find the list at https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/apps-and-games-with-diverse-characters

Blog Post:

https://thrive.psu.edu/blog/teaching-children-about-respecting-differences/

References

Blinken, A. J. (n.d.). State Department celebrates heritage and history months. United States Department of State. https://www.state.gov/state-department-celebrates-heritage-and-history-months/#immigrant-heritage-month-and-world-refugee-day

Du Plessis, M. (2023, April 3). Celebrating diversity: Embracing our differences.  LinkedIn.https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/celebrating-diversity-embracing-our-differences-minette-du-plessis/

Healthychildren.org. (2022, September 26). Celebrating heritage: Tips for parents.https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/celebrating-heritage-tips-for-parents.aspx

Iurato, A. (2022, March 30). How to honor heritage and identity (Without ruining it). LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-honor-heritage-identity-without-ruining-allison-iurato/

Kaiser, B., & Rasminsky, J. S. (2020, January). Valuing diversity: Developing a deeper understanding of all young children’s behavior. National Association for the Education of Young Children. https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/tyc/dec2019/valuing-diversity-developing-understanding-behavior

Office for Equity, Diversity, Inclusion & Belonging. (n.d.). Heritage months and identity recognitions. Harvard University. https://edib.harvard.edu/heritage-months

Sanchez, B. (2021, September 13). Teaching children cultural and racial pride. Healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Teaching-Children-Cultural-and-Racial-Pride.aspx

Listening to Your Baby

From the moment your baby is born, they are present and ready to communicate with you! Babies use the reflexes and cues they are born with to let you know what they need. This may look like turning their face towards a bottle when they are hungry or sound like crying when they are tired or overstimulated by loud surroundings. Taking the time to learn how your baby communicates can help you support them as they learn about and adjust to their new world!

To learn more, watch the Listening to Your Baby mini-booster module video, below, that was developed by Thrive!

The universal Thrive parent-education programs (i.e., Take Root, Sprout, Grow, and Branch Out), supplemental modules, and mini-booster modules are available for all parents for free at https://thrive.psu.edu.

United in Resolution: How Your Family Can Make the Most of the New Year

A new year is upon us, and it may bring with it promises of beginnings and opportunities for positive change. The start of the New Year is not just a marker of time, but it can also be a symbolic moment to reflect on the past and envision a brighter future. In addition, the New Year can be a time when you and your family create your special individual and family New Year’s resolutions. Developing an annual tradition in which all family members think about positivity can foster a sense of personal growth, for children and adults, and may encourage family bonding and improve goal-setting skills. Let’s discuss some strategies for setting New Year’s resolutions individually and within the family context and ideas for implementing practical approaches that can make this activity a meaningful experience for every family member.

Why set New Year’s resolutions with children

When parents or caregivers involve their children in setting New Year’s resolutions, they are modeling positive behaviors and offering children opportunities to learn how to set goals for themselves and begin to understand the value of personal development. Participating in goal setting can teach children responsibility and perseverance and can give them an opportunity to feel joy as they achieve something meaningful. By involving your children in this process, you empower them and strengthen the family bond as you work towards meeting shared objectives and create a tradition to look forward to every year.

The SMART way to set goals

Consider using the SMART goal framework to set your New Year’s resolutions. SMART goals provide a clear roadmap for success and are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. Establishing SMART goals can ensure that resolutions set by family members are well defined, realistic, and attainable within a designated time frame.
Let’s break down the components of SMART goals with some examples:

Specific: Specify exactly what you want to achieve.
  • Traditional Resolution: “Exercise more.”
  • SMART Resolution: “Take a family walk for 30 minutes every evening after dinner.”
Measurable: Establish a way to track your progress, and determine when you have met your goal.
  • Traditional Resolution: “Read more books.”
  • SMART Resolution: “Read one book each month, and discuss it with the family.”
Achievable: Ensure that your goal is realistic and attainable.
  • Traditional Resolution: “Learn a new instrument.”
  • SMART Resolution: “Practice the guitar for 15 minutes every day.”
Realistic: Set goals that are reasonable and within your capabilities.
  • Traditional Resolution: “Get all A’s in school.”
  • SMART Resolution: “Improve my grades by dedicating 1 hour to homework each school night.”
Timely: Define a time frame for accomplishing your goal.
  • Traditional Resolution: “Learn a new language.”
  • SMART Resolution: “Complete an online language course by June.”

Start small and build up

Start small, and set goals that can be easily achieved. Using this approach can increase opportunities for positive feedback, prevent feelings of discouragement, and foster a positive and empowering mindset for all family members. When goals are within one’s grasp, the individual is more likely to stay motivated and committed. Starting small and reaching these goals allow individuals, especially children, a chance to experience the satisfaction of progress and success. Their confidence can also be improved by reaching milestones, and they may find ways to build on those accomplishments! By striving to keep goals attainable, families can set themselves up for a journey filled with achievable milestones, continuous growth, and fun.

Set family resolutions

In addition to each family member setting individual SMART goals, families can set resolutions (or goals) they want to achieve together. These shared objectives can strengthen familial bonds and encourage collective growth. When families set resolutions together, they foster an environment of collaboration and support in which each member plays a vital role in achieving shared aspirations. Listed below are some examples of family resolutions, resolutions for younger children, and resolutions for adolescents and teens.

Weekly Family Meals:
  • SMART Goal: “Have a family meal together once a week and be together at least 30 minutes with no phones at the table.”
Exercise Routine:
  • SMART Goal: “Engage in 30 minutes of family exercise each day and allow each family member the opportunity to choose an activity to engage in that week (e.g., dancing, walking the dog, going to the park).”
Cooking Together:
  • SMART Goal: “Make one evening ‘Family Cook Night’ where the entire family will prepare, cook, and eat a meal together. Each family member will get a chance to choose a meal they would like to prepare.”
Family Game Night:
  • SMART Goal: “Schedule a weekly family game night, and turn off screens to reconnect and enjoy quality time.”
For Younger Children:
  • Daily Chores:
    • SMART Goal: Complete morning routine: Get up, get dressed, make your bed, eat breakfast, and brush your teeth.
  • Reading Habits:
    • SMART Goal: “Read for 20 minutes a day either independently or with a family member.”
For Adolescents/Teens:
  • Screen-Free Time:
    • SMART Goal: Learn/practice a new skill that doesn’t involve the use of a screen.
  • Balanced Lifestyle:
    • SMART Goal: “Go outside for at least 1 hour a day to engage in physical activity like running, biking, tennis, or pickleball.”

Revisit resolutions and goals as needed

Adaptability can be key when it comes to setting goals. Allow flexibility for yourself and your child so you can adjust any pre-established goals throughout the year and encourage success. Kids grow and change rapidly, and their interests and capabilities will evolve. Adjusting goals, as needed, allows for a more realistic and encouraging approach and considers the developmental stage of your child and their priorities. Whether modifying learning objectives, altering extracurricular commitments, or pivoting to a new hobby, parents who can recognize and adapt to these changes can ensure children’s goals remain achievable and aligned with their needs and aspirations. Teaching children the value of flexibility in goal setting can equip them with essential life skills and can foster a resilient and positive attitude toward overcoming challenges.

Incorporating SMART goals into your family’s New Year’s resolutions can set the stage for a successful and fulfilling year. As you embark on this journey together, remember that your commitment to continuous improvement is vital. To further support your resolution-setting endeavors and make this process more rewarding for you and your children, explore the resources listed below. Here’s to a SMART and joyful New Year for your family!

References

Aghera, A., Emery, M., Bounds, R., Bush C, Stansfield, R. B., Gillett, B., & Santen, S. A. (2018, January). A randomized trial of SMART goal enhanced debriefing after simulation to promote educational actions. Western Journal of Emergency Medicine, 19(1), 112-120. https://doi.org/10.5811/westjem.2017.11.36524

Le, B. M., & Impett, E. A. (2019). Parenting goal pursuit is linked to emotional well-being, relationship quality, and responsiveness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 879-904. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517747417

Nair, A., Nair, D., Girdhar, M., & Gugnani, A. (2021). Optimizing developmental outcomes by setting smart goals individualized home program for children with disabilities during COVID-19. International Journal of Physiotherapy and Research, 9(5), 4028–4034. https://doi.org/10.16965/ijpr.2021.184

Re-Establishing Your Child’s Routine After Vacation

Many families take advantage of school and child-care center breaks and closures as opportunities to spend time bonding, relaxing, vacationing, and taking trips to visit extended family. During these times, family routines may change, house rules could ease, and unstructured activities may become the norm. After days or weeks of excitement (or complaints of boredom) and altered day-to-day habits, your children may find it difficult  to transition to their post-break routine. Transitioning may also be more problematic for children who experience developmental, behavioral, or emotional challenges. While many children are generally flexible and can adapt to different situations, everyone needs time to adjust. Here are some strategies to consider that may help make your child’s transition easier.

Talk to your child about expectations for getting back to school or child care

Focus on positive aspects of going back to school or the early childhood education center (e.g. playing with friends, spending time with their favorite teacher, wearing a new outfit). Explain their drop-off and pick-up arrangements to them. Remind your child about any after-school plans that are in place (e.g., after-school programs, at-home routine, parent availability).

Discuss your child’s worries and concerns

Ask your child about what, if any, aspects of their return are causing fear and stress for them. Remind them that many people experience nervousness about their return to school or child care and their routine will begin to feel normal again soon. Offer your child support and problem solve strategies together to overcome their concerns.

Reassure your child that they will be safe and protected

Let your child know that their teacher(s) understand that transitioning back to school or child care can be challenging or may cause anxiety for them. Assure your child that they can trust their teacher and their teacher will work to ensure they are as comfortable as possible. Also, consider communicating your child’s specific needs with their teachers or other school personnel.

Create a back-to-school checklist

Prior to your child’s return, identify and create a list of all tasks that you and your child will need to complete to prepare for their return to school or child care (e.g., clothing, books, hairstyling, nutritional needs). You may also want to create a separate list that details specific items that need to be added to your child’s backpack for school or child care.

Start a predictable routine with sleep times

A few days or weeks in advance, help your child adjust to their appropriate sleep and wake times. If your bedtime routine has been altered and children are going to bed later and/or waking later, encourage your child to go to bed at an earlier time each night, and progressively wake your child earlier each morning until you have reached the desired sleep/wake-up intervals. You may access the American Academy of Pediatrics sleep recommendations for children at https://publications.aap.org/aapnews/news/6630/AAP-endorses-new-recommendations-on-sleep-times?autologincheck=redirected.

Schedule regular meals and snacks for your child

When your child is awake, you may want to ensure they eat healthy meals and snacks at regular times throughout the day. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that children eat three meals and two healthy snacks per day. The 5210 Healthy Children website (https://5210.psu.edu/) offers suggestions for meal and snack options to support increasing families’ fruit and vegetable intake to five or more servings per day.

Manage activities and media use on days prior to the return

Engage in physical activity for at least 1 hour throughout the day. Physical activities can include walking, running, biking, engaging in sports, playing at the playground, practicing yoga, or doing sit-ups. Also, practice reading, writing, math, and other activities with your child for mental stimulation. Lastly, reduce your child’s screen time, and ensure they are screen-free at least 1 hour before bed. Recommendations and tips for incorporating these behaviors in your daily routine can be found at https://5210.psu.edu/.

Use a visual aid or routine chart

Have a visual aid to help countdown the days before the return to school or child care. For example, by using a calendar, you can document additional breaks that are upcoming and extracurricular activities or performances that have been scheduled. You can also display your family’s daily routine and expectations, including specific household tasks your child may need to complete and when.

Practice the route with your child

Whether your child rides with you, carpools with a friend, bikes, or walks to school or their child care facility, rehearse the route with them at their regular times. Doing this could help to ensure your child is comfortable when school or child care reopens, to note any safety precautions they should consider, and to remind them of the common rules of the road.

Write down need-to-know information

To help remind your child about important details regarding their school or child care routine (or to communicate important information to school personnel), consider making a list of pertinent information for your child and placing it in their backpack. The information could be emergency contact details, medication administration times, their bus driver’s name and bus number, lunch times, or school start and end times.

Organize supplies and clothes the night before

To keep your family on track and create a more focused morning routine, arrange your child’s supplies in their backpacks the night before, and set their backpacks by the door. Encourage your child to choose an outfit to wear for their first day back and place their clothes in their bedrooms to foster a sense of autonomy and self-expression for your child. You may also consider prepping their snacks and school lunch at this time.

Initiate a buddy system, if necessary and appropriate

Consider connecting with another family or neighbor so your child can develop a connection on the walk or ride to school. This can help make the transition smoother for your child after they arrive at school.

Find opportunities for relaxation

The structured learning and activity at schools and child care centers can lead to mental and physical fatigue for many children. As your family prepares to transition into your post-vacation learning and activity routine, ensure your child has space to unwind when necessary, and support them in exploring and learning ways to practice self-care.

Note: As with many endeavors, children may find the return to school or child care to be unsettling. However, if you are concerned that your child’s symptoms go beyond common back-to-school jitters (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, nervousness, separation anxiety), consider speaking with your child’s healthcare provider, counselor, or teacher for resources and support.

Additional Resources

Visit the 5210 Healthy Children site at https://5210.psu.edu/ for ideas on how you can support your child’s physical health, nutrition, and development.

Breathe to Thrive can help you identify strategies to decrease stress and anxiety related to the return to school and child care. https://thrive.psu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Breathe-to-THRIVE.pdf

To get started with identifying back-to-school necessities, consider looking at Healthychildren.org’s Checklist for the First Day of School at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/school/Pages/Checklist-for-the-First-Day-of-School.aspx

Healthychildren.org also has some resources to help manage your child’s anxiety at https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/help-your-child-manage-fears-and-anxieties.aspx

The American Academy of Pediatrics has 12 Tips to Prepare for the Return to School at https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/health–safety-tips/american-academy-of-pediatrics-12-tips-to-prepare-for-the-return-to-school/

The Thrive Professional Resource has a sample morning and bedtime routine chart to help identify daily tasks your family can complete as your child transitions to school or child care. Request access to the resource at https://thrive.psu.edu/resources/professional-resource/

View the Thrive Mini-Booster Modules to learn strategies for establishing routines with your pre-school aged child at https://thrive.psu.edu/modules/mini-boosters/

Books:

Brightly offers an expansive reading list of books that can help your child get ready for school and child care – See 20 Books to Help Kids Get Ready for the New School Year at https://www.readbrightly.com/books-get-kids-ready-school/

Videos:

The Mayo Clinic provides expert tips for getting into a back-to-school or child-care routine from a child psychologist at https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-minute-building-a-back-to-school-routine/

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, March 8). Helping children transition back to school. https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/features/COVID-19-helping-children-transition-back-to-school.html

God, B. J. (2023, October 11). 6 ways parents can help kids establish healthy back to school habits. MedStar Health. https://www.medstarhealth.org/blog/kids-healthy-habits

Healthychildren.org. (2023, August 11). 5 ways to help your kids have a healthy school year.https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/school/Pages/back-to-school-tips-to-help-kids-have-a-healthy-year.aspx

Healthychildren.org. (2023, August 23). Back-to-school tips for families. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/school/Pages/back-to-school-tips.aspx

Hoffses, K. (2022, August). Back to school. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/back-school.html

The Psych Professionals. (n.d.). How to re-establish a school routine after the holidays.https://psychprofessionals.com.au/re-establish-school-routine-holidays/