Blog: Category: Branch Out (10-18 years)

Family Meetings

Published on November 22, 2021

Many families may think family time is having a meal together, watching a favorite television show, or even going on a new family adventure. While each of these activities is family time and is important, having intentional family time, called the family meeting, is also important. Family meetings are planned or short-notice conversations, and each family member should be included. During these meetings, families talk about issues that are relevant to the family, such as rules, expectations, or upcoming events. These meetings can help keep a family organized and on the same page. They also can encourage a family to celebrate accomplishments and achievements together.

Regularly holding family meetings helps children understand they are part of a connected unit, and each family member can have an impact on how the household operates and succeeds.  During family meetings, children should have a chance to talk through issues and use their listening skills as they hear others talk through different topics. Hearing, and being part of, healthy conversations will help your child develop positive communication techniques.

At times, children or youth may feel that some of their thoughts are uncomfortable to discuss. Family meetings can provide a safe environment for children to broach difficult issues and explore topics through discussion without feeling judged. By facilitating these types of discussion, you are offering your child an opportunity to learn how to listen without judgment and respect others’ viewpoints.

Try some of the tips below for your own family meetings:

  • Create guidelines for family meetings
  • Decide when and where meetings will be held. Make sure all family members are free to attend during the meeting time.
  • Anyone in the family is allowed to call a meeting. Find ways to make your children or youth feel comfortable in suggesting a family meeting takes place. One idea is to have them call a meeting when they bring up a topic that could benefit from the whole household’s input.
  • All family members should be invited to family meetings. Ensure each family member has a chance to speak and understands what decisions have been made and why and how these decisions were made.
  • Have routine family meetings
  • Family meetings should not always be about concerns or negative decisions or crises. Family meetings could provide opportunities to plan vacations, outings, celebrations, or family members’ accomplishments, or it could be a time to discuss next week’s dinner menu.
  • Prepare an agenda, and ensure everyone sees it before the meeting. All family members should have the opportunity to know what topics are going to be discussed, so they may gather their thoughts, concerns, and solutions prior to the meeting.
  • Make family meetings a positive interaction
  • Start the meeting on a positive note. Even if the meeting is being called to discuss a crisis, incorporate positivity. One way to do this is to note a family member’s accomplishment that has happened since the previous meeting.
  • Everyone should be allowed to talk. All family members should be heard, even if some opinions and ideas do not align with someone else’s thoughts and feelings.
  • Everyone should practice active listening. Hearing what a person says is an important part of communication.
  • Negative comments and put-downs should not be tolerated. If the tone of the meeting starts to become negative, pause and give everyone a chance to calm down. Then, resume the meeting at a later time.
  • When possible, put thoughts and concerns to a family vote. After hearing everyone’s thoughts, if appropriate, let the family vote on the decision.
  • Develop an Action Plan and use it. An Action Plan is one, or a series, of steps that will be executed to accomplish a goal. The action plan should be adopted by the family as a unit. A follow-up meeting may need to be held to evaluate how the Action Plan is going or determine if any changes need to be made.

 

 

 

Actively Listening to your Adolescent

Published on September 27, 2021

Quality communication is a critical part of successful parenting, and active listening is an important component of positive and productive communication with your adolescent. Active listening is making a conscious effort to hear the words your adolescent is saying and to understand the entire message he or she is conveying.

There are four key steps to being a successful active listener.

Be present and limit distractions.

Showing your adolescent that he or she has your undivided attention helps your child understand that how they feel and what they are saying is important to you. Be sure to concentrate on what is being said. By including nonverbal gestures that show you’re listening, like nodding or smiling, your adolescent may feel more willing to share with you and be open with you (Vitalaki, & Katsarou, 2021).

Do not interrupt.

While your adolescent is speaking, concentrate on his or her words and do not think about your response. If you are formulating your reply, your attention will be distracted, and you may miss key points. Wait until your adolescent has finished speaking, or better yet, ask him or her if he or she is finished speaking before you respond.

Withhold judgment.

When listening to your adolescent, do not make judgments on the words or actions; make a point to hear the whole story. It is important for your child to feel that his or her thoughts and feelings are valid and deserve consideration.

Paraphrase what was said.

When talking with your adolescent, repeat what he or she said by using statements like, “I hear you saying…” and “It sounds like you feel…” followed by “Does that sound right?” Paraphrasing shows your adolescent that you understand or don’t understand what he or she said, which will allow your child to clarify points for you.

Actively listening to your adolescent can help create a safe and trusting communication environment where your child feels heard and understood. As a result of the trust that is built, you may be better able to prevent or diffuse conflict and understand your child’s needs, so you can find solutions together.

References

Vitalaki, E., & Katsarou, E. (2021). Active listening: A model for teachers and parents to actively listen and act upon children’s concerns in terms of their perceptions of quality of life. In F.N. Valanidou, L. Neophytou, M. Anatasou & M. Koutselini (Eds.), Children’s life quality: Participation, recreation, and play (pp. 74-104). University of Cyprus; Center for Social Innovation.

Supporting the Emotional and Behavioral Health of Children During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Published on March 30, 2021

As our nation continues to endure the COVID-19 pandemic, many families may be wondering about the impact the pandemic has had on the emotional and behavioral health of their child(ren). In addition to social distancing recommendations and requirements that do not allow for close contact with a variety of individuals (e.g., peers, teammates, extended family members), many children have been, and still are, learning remotely, which also separates them from contact with important community figures (e.g., teachers, school counselors).

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released a report that provides guidance to pediatricians, professionals, families, and agencies regarding how to support the emotional and behavioral health of children and families during the COVID-19 public health crisis. The report includes information for families to consider as they support a child who may exhibit signs and symptoms associated with stress.

Some signs and symptoms of stress may include the following (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2021):

Infants and young children – disruptions in sleep, toileting, and feeding behaviors; difficulty with separation; and skills regression.

Older children and adolescents – internalizing symptoms such as withdrawal, fearfulness, and anxiety; externalizing behaviors such as irritability, oppositionality, and aggression; and somatic symptoms such as abdominal pain or headaches.

Adolescents and young adults – verbalization of distress but hiding concerns, which could present as irritability, inability to concentrate, poor school performance, and the use of substances.

It can be common for children to regress developmentally during times of stress, so parents can support their children and adolescents in a variety of ways (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2021).

Maintain open and honest communication. Parents and caregivers should engage in age-appropriate conversations with children about the pandemic and truthfully answer questions children may have.

Continue to follow mitigation strategies. As the seasons change, children may be encouraged to spend more time outdoors, which could allow for opportunities for children to connect with family and friends in person. While it may be safer to play and visit outdoors, families should continue to follow social distancing guidelines.

Provide screen-time limits. Spending more time at home can mean spending more time on digital devices. Parents should continue to monitor age-appropriate use of screens, and, if usage becomes problematic, parents are encouraged to develop a family media plan.

Be present. Being present and showing empathy can be positive ways to support your child(ren). In addition, parents can find ways to cope with stress as a family, like talking about scary feelings or practicing relaxation techniques (e.g., yoga). For older children and adolescents, parents could encourage their children to volunteer in the community, such as helping load groceries at a local food bank or asking them to choose some toys and books to donate to women’s resource centers.

Identify community resources. There are community organizations that provide support to families. For example, the United Way (https://www.unitedway.org) or the Universal Service Administrative Company (https://www.usac.org) are organizations that may benefit your family or child(ren). For additional information on finding helpful resources, please visit your local organizations (e.g., YMCA, community centers, base service unit) or your local county websites for more information.

If, at any time, you are concerned about your child’s emotional health and well-being, reach out to your pediatrician as he or she can provide additional guidance and resources that can assist you as you support your child.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2021, March). Interim guidance on supporting the emotional and behavioral health needs of children, adolescents, and families during the COVID-19 pandemic. https://services.aap.org/en/pages/2019-novel-coronavirus-covid-19-infections/clinical-guidance/interim-guidance-on-supporting-the-emotional-and-behavioral-health-needs-of-children-adolescents-and-families-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/

Promoting Healthy Behaviors to Reduce the Spread of COVID-19

Published on July 8, 2020

As we continue to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic, parents and families should remain diligent in modeling and promoting healthy behaviors that reduce the spread of COVID-19. Currently, a vaccine is not available to help minimize and prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Fortunately, there are several strategies, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2020), that you can implement within your family system that may reduce the spread of COVID-19.

Know How it Spreads

SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, spreads from person to person through respiratory droplets that are produced and distributed when an infected person talks, coughs, or sneezes within close proximity to other people (about six feet). These infected droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby and may be inhaled into these people’s lungs. Recent studies suggest that some people may spread the virus even though they may not experience symptoms. If you do not have symptoms but still carry the virus, you would be known as an asymptomatic carrier.

Stay Home When Appropriate

Limiting close face-to-face contact with people outside of your household is a good way to prevent exposure to and reduce the spread of COVID-19. When appropriate, stay at home with members of your household. Even if you are at home, you can still enjoy outdoor spaces around your home or neighborhood but be sure to continue to practice physical distancing with people who are not in your household.  Physical distancing, or social distancing, is the practice of maintaining six feet between all individuals.

Avoid Close Contact

When inside your home, avoid close contact with people who are sick, and, if possible, maintain six feet between the person who is sick and other household members.

Before deciding to go out in public, you should consider the level of risk for yourself and your family members and ensure you take appropriate protective measures. When outside of your home, limit your interactions with other people as much as possible and maintain six feet of distance (indoors and outdoors) between yourself and people who do not live in your household. Keeping distance from others is especially important for people who are at higher risk of getting very sick (e.g., older adults; people with underlying medical conditions like weakened immune system, Type 2 diabetes, chronic kidney disease). Generally speaking, your risk of getting and spreading COVID-19 increases depending on the more people you come in contact with, the more closely you interact with them, and the longer that interaction lasts.

Hand Hygiene and Respiratory Etiquette

Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and water throughout the day, especially after being in a public place, blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing. It is also important to wash your hands before touching your face, before preparing food, after using the restroom, after handling your cloth face covering, after changing a diaper, after caring for someone who is sick, and after touching animals or pets. If soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.

Always cover your mouth and nose – either with a tissue or inside your elbow – when you cough or sneeze, and, then, immediately throw used tissues in the trash and wash your hands (or use hand sanitizer).

Cloth Face Coverings

Cloth face coverings have been found to be a “simple, economic and sustainable alternative to surgical masks as a means of source control of SARS-CoV-2 in the general community” (Esposito, Principi, Leung, & Migliori, 2020, p. 1) and could be beneficial particularly where transmission may be pre-symptomatic (MacIntyre & Chughtai, 2020).

Everyone should wear a cloth face covering in public settings and when around people who do not live in your household, especially when physical distancing is difficult to maintain. When wearing the cloth face covering, continue to keep six feet of physical distance between yourself and others. Children, under the age of 2, should not wear cloth face coverings. In addition, anyone who has trouble breathing or is unconscious, incapacitated, or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance should not wear a cloth face covering.

Cleaning and Disinfection

Clean and disinfect frequently touched services, such as tables, doorknobs, light switches, countertops, handles, desks, phones, keyboards, toilets, faucets, and sinks, with a household disinfectant on a daily basis.

Monitor Your Family Members Health Daily

Monitor yourself and family members to watch for symptoms of COVID-19 especially if you are running errands, going into an office or workplace, or visiting settings where it may be difficult to keep a physical distance of six feet. Common symptoms include fever, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue, muscle or body aches, headache, new loss of taste or smell, sore throat, congestion or runny nose, nausea or vomiting, and diarrhea. If you or members of your family do begin to experience symptoms, contact your primary care physician. Remember – most people experience a mild form of the illness and are able to recover at home. However, if someone is experiencing distress (e.g., trouble breathing, persistent pain or pressure in the chest, new confusion, inability to wake or stay awake, bluish lips or face), get emergency medical care immediately.

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, July 7). Considerations for events and gatherings. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/large-events/considerations-for-events-gatherings.html

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, June 25). People of any age with underlying medical conditions. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/people-with-medical-conditions.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2F2019-ncov%2Fneed-extra-precautions%2Fgroups-at-higher-risk.html

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, May 13). Symptoms of Coronavirus. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, April 24). How to protect yourself & others. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/prevention.html

Esposito, S., Principi, N., Eung, C. C., & Migliori, G. B. (2020). Universal use of face masks or success against COVID-19: Evidence and implications for prevention policies. European Respiratory Journal, 55(6), 2001260. doi: 10.1183/13993003.01260-2020

MacIntyre, C. R., & Chughtai, A. A., (2020). A rapid systematic review of the efficacy of face masks and respirators against coronaviruses and other respiratory transmissible viruses for the community, healthcare workers and sick patients. International Journal of Nursing Studies, 108, 103629.

How to Talk to Kids About Tolerance, Acceptance, and Diversity

Published on June 4, 2020

“Mom, why is that person in a wheelchair?”

“Dad, why do Sam and I look so different?”

We have all been there. Kids ask difficult questions, often at inconvenient times. Sometimes we shush them or feel embarrassed about the issue they have raised. As parents, teaching tolerance and acceptance and embracing diversity and inclusion are part of the job description – and it even can be one of the perks!

As parents, we can try to be prepared and put in place strategies that help our children understand the diverse world in which we live. Explore your family’s cultural and ethnic background. Many of the things we do every day as parents trace back to our cultural roots, and we may take for granted that our children understand why we do what we do. Be vocal, explore traditions, and tell stories. These actions and activities can open the door to exciting conversations with your kids.

Along with looking at your family’s background, explore and celebrate how other people do things. Learning with your kids can be an exciting way to build cultural competence and invite the value of inclusivity to your family. Exposure to other cultures, traditions, religions, races, and ethnicities can help children cultivate an understanding of who they are and an awareness of the diverse world around them. Attending cultural festivals, reading books that highlight diversity, eating different foods, encouraging diverse friend groups, and exploring cultural stereotypes in media are all great ways to build inclusive values.

Even when families have a solid foundation and family values that nurture and support acceptance, the time will come when your child shouts something that makes you feel uncomfortable in the moment. At this point, it is important to take a breath and respond in a manner that is calm, caring, positive, matter-of-fact, and non-judgmental. These moments provide some of your best opportunities to connect with your child and continue his or her learning about tolerance and acceptance in a meaningful way.

(Reposted from April 3, 2018)

Additional Resources

Clearinghouse for Military Family Readiness. (2018). Inclusivity: How to talk to your kids about tolerance and acceptance. Retrieved from http://talktoyourkids.info

PBS Parents. (2018). Talking with Kids. Positive Ways to Talk and Listen. Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/strategies.html

We’ve put together a list of books for kids about tolerance, acceptance, and diversity. Click here to download the book list.

Teens and COVID-19

Published on May 19, 2020

Schedules, routines, our very lives have been changed by COVID-19. Entire families have been affected, but social distancing may be especially difficult for teenagers who aren’t able to visit friends and are missing important milestones, such as graduations, proms, and sporting events. Parents may find it difficult to motivate teens to complete school work or daily tasks or keep them engaged in activities due to the current climate.

Please find here some ideas that can provide opportunities for your teen to take on responsibility and contribute to your family and community in ways that are unique and challenging.

Shift responsibilities!

  • If your teen has younger siblings, he or she can help care for them by planning lunch time, creating playtime activities, or finding fun ways to help them complete school work.
  • Can your teens do the dishes and take out the trash? Put them in charge of certain chores, or give them recycling responsibilities and have them research where you can drop off different types of recyclables that may not be collected by your pickup service.
  • If your teen likes to cook, ask him or her to come up with some new recipes, plan the grocery list, and cook a meal for the family.

Maintain virtual connections!

  • Put your teen in charge of creating ways to stay connected with family and friends on a regular basis. For example, themed Zoom chats or virtual game nights can be fun for all age groups.
  • Have your teen create a family email chain that can be used to exchange news, recipes, pictures, and more.
  • See if your teen can use a social media platform as a creative way to do dance battles with family and friends.
  • Is your teen active in the arts, or musically inclined? If so, ask him or her to create a new song or develop a performance to present virtually to family and friends.

Design family projects!

  • Ask your teen to take the lead on a family project (e.g., create a family photo album) that includes the entire family, and ask him or her to delegate roles and responsibilities to each family member – those close and far.
  • If your child is media savvy, ask him or her to take or use existing family photos to create a slide show and have a premier night – make popcorn or s’mores.
  • Suggest that your teen make a family tree, contact grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family to learn more about his or her family history.
  • Have your child create a virtual 5K for family and friends to participate in together.

Declutter and donate!

  • Ask teens to go through their rooms and pick clothes that do not fit or toys or old games they no longer use and package them for donation.
  • Talk to your teen about organizing a family garage or basement clean-out, and throw away or donate items that are no longer in use.

Volunteer within the community!

  • There are many volunteer opportunities in communities that follow social distancing guidelines.
    • Ask your teen to search online for opportunities in which they can help others, such as working in a group to plant or maintain the community garden or collecting food for the food pantry.
    • Suggest your teen use his or her social media platform to spread acts of kindness or make someone feel special (e.g., sharing a positive post about a friend or family member, using Facebook to raise money for a charity).

Helping teens discover ways to take on more responsibility and become leaders in their families and communities is a great use of energy. It can help support their self-esteem and allow them to contribute. In addition, being of service to others may help to mitigate feelings of depression and loneliness.

References

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2020). Teens and Covid-19: Challenges and opportunities during the outbreak. Retrieved from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/chest-lungs/Pages/Teens-and-COVID-19.aspx

Talking to Children about Germs, COVID-19, and Practicing Proper Hygiene

Published on March 13, 2020
Child washing hands with soap

With the recent outbreak of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), many children may have questions about the virus or germs in general.

What are Germs?

Germs are everywhere! They are small and can enter our bodies without us knowing. Some germs can live on surfaces (e.g., doorknobs, countertops) for a short period of time. Once they invade a human body, however, they can make a person sick. The easiest way to prevent the spread of germs is through handwashing!

Bacteria are tiny cells that obtain nutrients from their environment, which in some cases may be the human body, and can reproduce either inside or outside of a human body (KidsHealth, 2018). Ear infections, strep throat, and pneumonia are all examples of illnesses that can be caused by bacteria. Antibiotics can be used to help kill unwanted bacteria inside of the body. However, not all bacteria are bad. Some bacteria are good and help to keep our bodies functioning normally!

Viruses need to be inside living cells to reproduce (KidsHealth, 2018). A virus cannot survive long outside of a host, like a human or an animal. Viruses can cause the common cold; the flu; sinusitis; bronchitis; or other diseases, such as COVID-19. Antibiotics cannot be used to kill viruses; however, antiviral medications and vaccines can help to fight viruses or even prevent viruses from making a person sick.

How to Talk to Children about the COVID-19 Virus

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) (2020) has developed some general principles for how to talk to children about the COVID-19 virus.

  • Remain calm and reassuring.
  • Make yourself available to listen and to talk.
  • Avoid language that might blame others and lead to stigma.
  • Pay attention to what children see or hear on television or media outlets.
  • Provide information that is honest and accurate.
  • Teach children everyday actions to reduce the spread of germs.

How to help Children practice Good Hygiene

Parents can help children prevent the spread of germs by teaching children specific manners to be used when they are sick and showing them how to maintain proper hygiene. According to the CDC (2020), some ways parents can teach children everyday actions to reduce the spread of germs are as follows:

  • Remind children to stay away from people who are coughing or sneezing or who seem sick.
  • Remind children to cough or sneeze into their elbow or a tissue, and then throw the tissue into the trash.
  • Get children into a hand-washing habit.
    • Teach children to wash their hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after blowing their noses, coughing, sneezing, going to the bathroom, and before eating or preparing food. Have them sing the Happy Birthday song twice while they wash their hands; that will equal 20 seconds!
    • If soap and water are not available, teach them to use a hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizers should contain at least 60% alcohol. Supervise young children at home, school, and child care facilities when they use a hand sanitizer to prevent them from swallowing the product.

For more information about COVID-19, please visit the CDC’s website at https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/

References

Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2020, March). Talking with children about coronavirus disease 2019: Messages for parents, school staff, and others working with children. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/schools-childcare/talking-with-children.html

KidsHealth. (2018, July). What are Germs? Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/germs.html

How to Talk to Kids about Tough Topics

Published on June 21, 2018
Little kid with large glasses looking perplexed

School shootings, natural disasters, political turmoil, epidemics… these and other distressing events are common headlines in our current world. Today, many kids have ready access to information 24/7, which means parents need to be ready to talk about and explain information with their children. But as a parent, what is the best approach to talking with your child about tough topics? How do you have those conversations?

One of the most important things to think about when talking with your child about a difficult topic is their age and stage of development. When a child asks a tough question or brings up one of the challenging situations mentioned, the conversation is going to look very different depending on whether your child is in preschool, second grade, or tenth grade! Being aware of your child’s stage of development will help you communicate more effectively with them.

Additionally, you may find the following tips helpful as you prepare for or anticipate challenging conversations with your child:

  • Listen for feelings. Sometimes when youth come to a caregiver and ask questions about a tough topic, they are feeling unpleasant or unfamiliar emotions. For example, after a school shooting, children may feel fear, sadness, or threats to their sense of safety. Parents can help their children identify and name the feeling(s) they are experiencing.
  • Give space for conversation; in other words, listen! Have you ever heard the saying, “Talk and listen in the same proportion of your ears and mouth.” What this means is, listen twice as much as you talk! All joking aside, often when children approach a parent, they don’t want you to minimize or solve their problem. They simply want to engage in conversation. So, if your child comes to you, ask follow-up questions, get opinions, be curious, and listen.
  • Find out what they already know. This is a great tip for talking about tough topics. A simple question such as, “What do you already know about this topic?” can help parents gauge the child’s level of understanding on the topic. The conversation can proceed from there.
  • It’s ok to say to your child, “Let me think about that.” If you need a moment to collect your thoughts before you engage in a tough topic, that’s OK! State your need, and, then, make sure you follow up with your child at a point in the near future.
  • Finally, keep the door open for more conversation. When you wrap up your conversation with your youth, remind them you are available to talk if or when they need you! As children grow, keep the lines of communication open. We want our kids to come to us when they need to talk – even about the tough stuff.

Additional Resources

For more information and strategies for Talking to Kids about Tough Topics, please visit: