As the school year begins, you may find that making time to truly connect with your child is difficult. Communication is the foundation for a strong parent-child relationship, but you may wonder how, when your time is limited due to scheduling demands, you can find moments to connect with your child. See below for some strategies you could use to help you make this happen!
Schedule Time to Talk
Scheduling a time to discuss how your child is doing will be dependent on you and your family’s needs. Some families may make their connections during breakfast, while others may enjoy talking as soon as everyone arrives home from school. Determine a time that works for your family, and make it your time to share feelings, needs, and experiences together. Giving your child this attention and time, shows your child you care about and want to prioritize his or her feelings and experiences.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
After you have set time aside for meaningful conversations, you should talk to your child in a way he or she feels heard and appreciated. Allowing children the opportunity to problem solve can help them gain confidence in finding solutions (Freydkin, 2025). Try using open-ended questions, such as those listed below, to give your child a chance to think more deeply about his or her experiences. By using open-ended questions, you allow your child to give you answers about what information is important to him or her, and you help avoid limited or vague answers.
Instead of… How was your day? Try… What did you learn today?
Instead of… What did you do at school? Try… What was the most fun activity you did today at school? What was the hardest thing?
Instead of… What are you doing tomorrow? Try… What are you looking forward to at school tomorrow?
Instead of… Did you play with your friends? Try… Who did you spend time with at recess?
Actively Listen
Communication can involve the words you say and the way that you listen to the words others say. Engaging in active listening will help you understand what your child needs and feels and may help you better respond in a way that ensures your child feels supported. Try following these steps, as outlined in the Thrive resource Actively Listening to Your Adolescent, as you communicate with your child.
Be present and limit distractions – Try giving your child your undivided attention by putting down phones or other gadgets and do not engage in activities, like emptying the dishwasher, while you are listening.
Do not interrupt – Try concentrating only on your child and what he or she is saying.
Withhold judgment – Try listening to the whole story so your child feels like his or her thoughts and feelings are valid and deserve your consideration.
Paraphrase what your child has said – Try using phrases like “I hear you saying…” and “It sounds like you feel…” followed by “Does that sound right?”
Building strong communication habits takes time and patience, but the effort is worth the time for the entire family. By scheduling time to talk, asking thoughtful questions, and using active listening, you can create a safe space for your child to communicate with you, even during your busy schedule. Using these skills and engaging in connections will benefit you and your child throughout your lives !
Additional Resources
Actively Listening
Communicating with Adolescents and Teens
Actively Listening to Your Adolescent
COMING SOON!
Healthy Communication: The Art of Connecting – Supplemental Module
References
Freydkin, D. (2025, April 1). How to ask what kids are feeling: Ways to get insight into how your kids are handling stressful times. Childmind.org. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-ask-what-kids-are-feeling-during-stressful-times/
Garey, J. (2024, March 8). Teaching kids how to deal with conflicts: Tips for building lifelong skills. Childmind.org. https://childmind.org/article/teaching-kids-how-to-deal-with-conflict