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Social media can enhance connections and impact relationships and experiences for the individuals who use it. Though many age groups use social media, the Pew Research Center (2024) has found that nearly 9 in 10 teens used at least one form of social media. It was also found that around 60% of teens this age use Snapchat and 59% used Instagram (Pew Research Center, 2023). With these statistics showing frequent usage, parents and caregivers may want to talk with their teens regarding their teens usage and help them learn how to navigate social media in a way that sets them up for success.

Set them up for Success

As a parent, you may be knowledgeable about how your child is using social media, and you may be having open conversations with them about appropriate behaviors regarding social media use. If not, consider engaging in a conversation that could begin by discussing with you child who they are connecting with on their social media platforms—likely their friends and peers. From there, talk with your teen about how they can speak to others with kindness and respect. You may want to ensure your teen understands that those they are communicating with are real people even though they may be physically far away. Remind your teen that they should treat others on social media as they would treat someone in person and as they would like to be treated. Furthermore, be sure your teen realizes that social media works through the use of algorithms, and users are shown, or purposefully connected to, content that correlates with words they use, whom they interact with, and content they engage with.

Connect With Friends

Your teen may be eager to add all of their peers on their social media platforms. However, not all of their peers may be their friends. Talk with your child and discuss who their friends are and what kinds of behaviors they value in their friendships, like respect and honesty. Try using questions like those below to talk about which peers they should add on their social media.
– Whom do you consider a friend?
– What types of activities do they like?
– What common interests do you have?
– Are there behaviors or activities they participate in that you don’t agree with?
– Do you think the type of social media activity they have is positive?
– Are they going to be a positive aspect to your social media presence?

Remind your teen to ask their friends if they are allowed to be added to specific social media platforms before sending invites.

Speak With Kindness

Whether we are talking with others face-to-face or on social media, what we say to people matters. Children may need reminders to speak to others online, or via social media, in a friendly and kind manner just as they would in an in-person situation. Try talking through questions, like the ones outlined below, to help your child consider suitable language as they comment on others’ posts, updates, or shares. You may wish to remind your child that their comments could be seen by many other people and these “others” may not be people they know.
– Would you say this to someone in person?
– Would you want others to see that you have said this?
– How do you think others may feel once they see you have made this statement?
– Would you want something like this said to you?

Children need to understand that when they comment or share an opinion or statement online, those words can be (and are) seen by others whom they may or may not know and who are physically close or distant from them. Though perhaps difficult for teens to comprehend, the comments and statements they make, whether positive or negative, can never be truly retracted or deleted; thus, implications and consequences may never go away. Talk to your teen about practicing empathy and the repercussions of having everyone see what they are saying.

Like What You Like

Social media is designed to show you information and suggestions that you will like and enjoy. By following, sharing, and commenting on social media accounts that are based around your interests, you are gaining access to specific platforms that will adjust and show you more content that is similar. The more you interact with specific content, the more like material you will see.

Talk with your teen and discuss their interests. Perhaps, bring up the influential people within those interests, such as athletes, artists, and influencers. Discuss how those people present themselves and use that information to show your teen the positive and negative perceptions these individuals display. Discuss how your teen views certain actions and determine how your teen may be perceived by others depending on their comments, actions, and reactions. Take the next step and ask your teen if they are pleased with what that perception may be. Try using the following questions to see if the influential people you discussed act in a way that aligns with your and your teen’s views:
– What are they known for?
– How do they treat and talk about others?
– What causes do they advocate for?
– How do people generally view this person?
– Is this person someone whom you and your teen think others should look up to? Why or why not?

These questions can help your teen think about and decide what type of content they want to place on their social media platforms. What values do they want to present? What image do they want to exhibit?

In our digital world, what we say and the actions we take on social media can have implications and consequences (positive and negative) that may follow us for much longer than it takes for us to type out a response or click share. By talking with your teen about their social media presence and what or how they post information, you are helping them learn to effectively use the digital landscape that will likely be part of their entire life.