In the United States, peak moving season typically occurs during the summer months when many families take advantage of warmer weather and the break between school years. Children who are faced with an impending move may experience a range of emotions – sadness, anger, excitement. If a move is in your family’s future, there are steps you can take to help your child manage the transition.
Before your Move
Talk to your child about the move. Provide your child with age-appropriate information regarding why you are moving (e.g., a new job, desire to be closer to family, tighter finances), where you are moving to, and when you plan to leave your current location. To alleviate concerns, you can share the aspects of their life or environment that will remain the same (e.g., pets and other family members will move with you, same toys and furniture) and discuss the parts of their life that will likely change (e.g., climate, school, daycare). Encourage your child to express their feelings about the move, and share some of your own feelings (i.e., excited to explore new places, anxious about making new friends, sad to leave current friends) about the move with your child. Reading books together about moving with your child can help guide your conversations and can help you explore the many emotions you and your child may experience throughout the move.
Involve your child in the moving process. Involve your child in the moving process, and visit the new community, location, or home as a family, or explore the location together online. Take time to learn about your new community and make a list of activities to do and places you, your child, and your family would like to visit. You may also want to include your child by having them pack their belongings and ask them for their help in selecting items to donate that the family no longer needs or uses.
Make time for goodbyes. Allow time for your child to have closure with the people and places they will leave behind. Schedule playdates with friends, visit favorite places for the last time, and take photos your child can put together in a scrap book or frame. Talk about the emotions that can occur when you say goodbye to friends, and make a plan to keep in touch with those you’re leaving behind. Setting up times to make phone calls or video calls, writing letters, and planning for future visits can help ease the sadness of goodbyes. For older children, online games and social networking sites can help children maintain contact with friends. If online safety worries you, there are resources you can use to ease your concerns.
During your Move
Keep some routines consistent. A home full of boxes, hotel stays en route to your new location, or an empty home upon arrival to your new place may disrupt your typical routines. Ensure some routines remain consistent, such as maintaining mealtimes, naps or rest periods, and bedtimes as much as possible. If your family has any rituals, like an evening walk or reading a favorite book before bedtime, try to continue those activities.
Manage stress. Moving is often considered one of the most stressful experiences in one’s life. Your ability to cope with the move’s planning, preparation, and execution is critical for you and your family. Ask for help when needed, ensure you get enough sleep at night, and take it one step at a time – or one room at a time. Moving may also cause stress for kids. Be sure to take breaks, eat healthy snacks and meals, and reflect positively on the process. Additional strategies to help you manage your stress are available here.
Add in some fun! Moving is hard work. You and your family deserve a break and even a little fun while you’re in the middle of a move! Prepare ahead to provide activities for your child that will entertain them while your family is living in a packed-up or empty house or making a long-distance drive. Coloring books, picture books, and travel games that are portable do not take up much space and are easily transportable. Audiobooks, video games, and special movies for car rides can also help pass the time and keep children entertained. If your move has you traveling long distances, schedule in some sightseeing along your route. Visiting national parks, museums, or historical monuments may help to break up the trip and may allow your family to see or do things you may never have experienced.
After the Move
Get settled and explore your new community. Unpack your child’s bedroom first to help them feel settled in their new home. Build in time to begin to visit the places you explored while you were preparing to move. Schedule a tour of your child’s new daycare or school to familiarize your child with their new environment. Introduce yourself to neighbors; join a local gym, community center, or spiritual space; and engage with community members (e.g., local store owner, restaurant server) to make your new area feel more like home.
Help your child adjust to their new environment. Establish routines at home such as mealtimes, chores, and bedtimes to create a sense of normalcy for you and your child. Create opportunities for your child to meet others, such as going for a bike ride in your new neighborhood, visiting a local park, or enrolling in a new sport or activity. Practice skills that can help your child make new friends, such as role-playing how they can introduce themselves to new friends and how to invite new friends to play with them. For school-age children, being the new kid in school can be an uncomfortable feeling. You can help ease the transition by maintaining open communication with the new school and providing encouragement and reassurance to your child. Additional tips for adjusting to a new school are available here.
Check in with your child. It may take some time before your child feels settled in their new home or school. Talk with your child to learn how they are adapting to the move. Note any challenges such as academic struggles, lack of friends, or prolonged negative feelings (e.g., anger or sadness) that won’t subside. Seek professional help if needed. School counselors; your family doctor; or, for military families, non-medical Military and Family Life Counselors can offer a listening ear and additional support to you and your family.
Moving can be difficult, but it can also be an opportunity to foster resiliency. With some planning and preparation, you can help make your next move a positive experience for all members of your family.
|Children’s Books about Moving|
|Chapter Books with Characters Experiencing a Move
|Journals about Moving for Children and Teens