Blog: Category: Grow (5-10 years)

When children are very young, parents and caregivers are responsible for their every need. During those early years, you likely developed a routine in which you could anticipate what your child wanted and when they wanted it, and you were usually able to meet their needs. However, as children grow and begin to explore the different environments around them, such as their home, school, or the outside area where they play, they learn from these surroundings and from the experiences they have in these settings. As this learning occurs, your child is gaining autonomy or independence and is learning how to make their own decisions. Although this can be an exciting time, parents may find this shift difficult, even scary, as they begin to let go, or step back, to allow their children to have these new experiences.

Parents want their children to be happy or content, and they hope their children will accomplish or meet many goals as they grow and become adults. In order to help your child be successful like this you must also encourage and allow them to build skills and resiliency through their own lived exploration and experiences! Having resiliency, or the ability to summon coping skills and find ways to address difficult or adverse situations, is essential in life as all people will face setbacks. So, how can you continue to help your child try, and maybe fail, in a way that will help them build that resiliency and help them learn to navigate their world?

Highlighted below are strategies and examples that may help you provide the space and opportunities your child needs to try, to maybe fail, and to succeed. These strategies can look different depending on the age of your child, so let’s look at a few scenarios.

Infants and Toddlers

As a child starts to walk, they begin to explore their world in a new and exciting way. Walking is a new skill for them, and you will likely watch them stand, wobble, fall, and, ultimately, try again over and over until they are successful. During this experience, your child will try, and will fail, but they are learning resiliency as they keep trying! So, remember, you may want to reach out and help them, but they need to learn to walk on their own.

How You Can Help: Practical Strategies

So, how can you help your child learn as they fail?

• Use encouraging words with your child.
• Offer them a smile, and show approval when they try and when they succeed.
• Give a reassuring hug, or wipe their tears when they become frustrated.

With your help, they will learn that, even when they fall, it’s okay to get back on their feet and keep going, and they have someone to turn to in difficult times.

You can find more tips and strategies on how to encourage and support your 0- to 3-year-old child in Thrive’s Take Root program. To learn more or register for Take Root, visit the Thrive website here.

Preschool-Aged Children

At this age, your child may be learning how to communicate and play with other children their age. This could be a sibling, a new friend at the park, and even other children at the preschool they are attending. These new friendships will likely lead to conflict because every interaction they have may not be positive. However, they are learning important skills from these experiences, such as social and communication skills and empathy. They can refine these skills as they grow into competent and caring adults.

How You Can Help: Practical Strategies

Although your first instinct may be to interject and fix a situation for your child, try giving them time to figure it out for themself (if there is no threat to physical harm). You can let your child know that you are there and ready to support them, but giving them the chance to work out a disagreement with the other child can be helpful. If your child cannot navigate the situation themself, or they ask for help, try using these strategies.

• Acknowledge their feelings.
• Ask questions to gather information.
• Restate the problem.
• Navigate solutions together.

Using these steps could help your child feel heard while they are learning how to problem solve!

You can find more tips and strategies on how to problem solve with your 3- to 5-year-old child in Thrive’s Sprout program. To learn more or register for Sprout, visit the Thrive website here.

School-Aged Children

School-aged children will start learning new concepts at school such as math, reading, and spelling. Your child may be struggling with learn how to spell their weekly word list, and they may want to just give up. Seeing your child struggle may be hard to watch, and, even though you may have established strategies with them to help practice their spelling, they may refuse to do the work. As their parent, you understand the consequences of them quitting. In the end, they may fail the test and bring home a poor grade. Now, your child must learn about consequences – or how their actions affect outcomes.

How You Can Help: Practical Strategies

In this situation, the consequence will be that your child will learn that by not trying or working through a problem, they will receive a bad grade, which may have other negative repercussions. Consider using these strategies as you help them through this situation.

• Listen to their explanation attentively.
• Focus on and talk about how they are feeling.
• Validate that you support their feelings.
• Encourage them to set attainable goals that will help them reach their objectives.

They may even have suggestions for a solution that you didn’t think of!

You may feel tempted to reach out to their teacher, so your child may have a second chance. However, in this type of situation, this may not be a helpful tactic as you may teach your child that you can and will fix their problems for them. If you decide that reaching out to the teacher is warranted, include your child in the meeting and/or conversation, and use the situation as a problem-solving experience for them. Involving your child shows them that you and their teacher care about them and are interested in helping them learn and succeed. In addition, it could offer an opportunity for your child to contribute to how they can adjust their behavior and performance in the future!

You can find more tips and strategies for listening and reflecting with your 5- to 10-year-old child in Thrive’s Grow program. To learn more or register for Grow, visit the Thrive website here.

Adolescents and Teens

As your adolescent or teen explores their personal identity, they may be trying new activities such as sports or clubs in their school. This could include trying out for a part in the school play or a spot on the football team or running for class president. Let’s consider this last example. You may have watched your child work hard on learning what being class president means and what holding this position entails with regard to time and responsibilities. They may have spent hours preparing their speech; however, suppose they are not elected. This likely will be hard for them to deal with, and it may be hard for you to watch this setback. As the parent, though, you have a good opportunity here to discuss their feelings as they face disappointment.

How You Can Help: Practical Strategies

Here are some strategies you might try as you help your child cope with this situation.

• Validate their feelings by listening to them talk about their disappointment.
• Acknowledge their feelings, and allow them time to have those hard feelings.
• Ask your child questions about the situation.
• Restate what you hear to ensure you both fully understand the situation and to be sure your child knows they are being heard.
• Tell them about a time when you faced disappointment. They may not be ready to hear about this yet but you can help them see that even adults face and overcome disappointment. Explain to them how you handled the situation.
• Discuss with your child how they want to move forward with regards to the situation. This collaboration and communication can allow your child to see you, the parent, as someone who has faced these big feelings and setbacks and has moved on. Communicating can also encourage your child to try again since they know someone close to them who has experienced something similar!

You can find more tips and strategies for communicating with your adolescent or teen in Thrive’s Branch Out program. To learn more or register for Branch Out, visit the Thrive website here.

As uncomfortable as it may be, experiencing failure is a part of life. Everyone can learn from mistakes and missteps, and children are no different. Remember, times of failure can be opportunities for your child to learn not only how to fail but how to learn from those failures.

As we continue to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic, parents and families should remain diligent in modeling and promoting healthy behaviors that reduce the spread of COVID-19. Currently, a vaccine is not available to help minimize and prevent the spread of COVID-19.

Fortunately, there are several strategies, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2020), that you can implement within your family system that may reduce the spread of COVID-19.

Know How it Spreads

SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, spreads from person to person through respiratory droplets that are produced and distributed when an infected person talks, coughs, or sneezes within close proximity to other people (about six feet). These infected droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby and may be inhaled into these people’s lungs. Recent studies suggest that some people may spread the virus even though they may not experience symptoms. If you do not have symptoms but still carry the virus, you would be known as an asymptomatic carrier.

Stay Home When Appropriate

Limiting close face-to-face contact with people outside of your household is a good way to prevent exposure to and reduce the spread of COVID-19. When appropriate, stay at home with members of your household. Even if you are at home, you can still enjoy outdoor spaces around your home or neighborhood but be sure to continue to practice physical distancing with people who are not in your household.  Physical distancing, or social distancing, is the practice of maintaining six feet between all individuals.

Avoid Close Contact

When inside your home, avoid close contact with people who are sick, and, if possible, maintain six feet between the person who is sick and other household members.

Before deciding to go out in public, you should consider the level of risk for yourself and your family members and ensure you take appropriate protective measures. When outside of your home, limit your interactions with other people as much as possible and maintain six feet of distance (indoors and outdoors) between yourself and people who do not live in your household. Keeping distance from others is especially important for people who are at higher risk of getting very sick (e.g., older adults; people with underlying medical conditions like weakened immune system, Type 2 diabetes, chronic kidney disease). Generally speaking, your risk of getting and spreading COVID-19 increases depending on the more people you come in contact with, the more closely you interact with them, and the longer that interaction lasts.

Hand Hygiene and Respiratory Etiquette

Wash your hands for at least 20 seconds with soap and water throughout the day, especially after being in a public place, blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing. It is also important to wash your hands before touching your face, before preparing food, after using the restroom, after handling your cloth face covering, after changing a diaper, after caring for someone who is sick, and after touching animals or pets. If soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol.

Always cover your mouth and nose – either with a tissue or inside your elbow – when you cough or sneeze, and, then, immediately throw used tissues in the trash and wash your hands (or use hand sanitizer).

Cloth Face Coverings

Cloth face coverings have been found to be a “simple, economic and sustainable alternative to surgical masks as a means of source control of SARS-CoV-2 in the general community” (Esposito, Principi, Leung, & Migliori, 2020, p. 1) and could be beneficial particularly where transmission may be pre-symptomatic (MacIntyre & Chughtai, 2020).

Everyone should wear a cloth face covering in public settings and when around people who do not live in your household, especially when physical distancing is difficult to maintain. When wearing the cloth face covering, continue to keep six feet of physical distance between yourself and others. Children, under the age of 2, should not wear cloth face coverings. In addition, anyone who has trouble breathing or is unconscious, incapacitated, or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance should not wear a cloth face covering.

Cleaning and Disinfection

Clean and disinfect frequently touched services, such as tables, doorknobs, light switches, countertops, handles, desks, phones, keyboards, toilets, faucets, and sinks, with a household disinfectant on a daily basis.

Monitor Your Family Members Health Daily

Monitor yourself and family members to watch for symptoms of COVID-19 especially if you are running errands, going into an office or workplace, or visiting settings where it may be difficult to keep a physical distance of six feet. Common symptoms include fever, cough, shortness of breath, fatigue, muscle or body aches, headache, new loss of taste or smell, sore throat, congestion or runny nose, nausea or vomiting, and diarrhea. If you or members of your family do begin to experience symptoms, contact your primary care physician. Remember – most people experience a mild form of the illness and are able to recover at home. However, if someone is experiencing distress (e.g., trouble breathing, persistent pain or pressure in the chest, new confusion, inability to wake or stay awake, bluish lips or face), get emergency medical care immediately.

“Mom, why is that person in a wheelchair?”

“Dad, why do Sam and I look so different?”

We have all been there. Kids ask difficult questions, often at inconvenient times. Sometimes we shush them or feel embarrassed about the issue they have raised. As parents, teaching tolerance and acceptance and embracing diversity and inclusion are part of the job description – and it even can be one of the perks!

As parents, we can try to be prepared and put in place strategies that help our children understand the diverse world in which we live. Explore your family’s cultural and ethnic background. Many of the things we do every day as parents trace back to our cultural roots, and we may take for granted that our children understand why we do what we do. Be vocal, explore traditions, and tell stories. These actions and activities can open the door to exciting conversations with your kids.

Along with looking at your family’s background, explore and celebrate how other people do things. Learning with your kids can be an exciting way to build cultural competence and invite the value of inclusivity to your family. Exposure to other cultures, traditions, religions, races, and ethnicities can help children cultivate an understanding of who they are and an awareness of the diverse world around them. Attending cultural festivals, reading books that highlight diversity, eating different foods, encouraging diverse friend groups, and exploring cultural stereotypes in media are all great ways to build inclusive values.

Even when families have a solid foundation and family values that nurture and support acceptance, the time will come when your child shouts something that makes you feel uncomfortable in the moment. At this point, it is important to take a breath and respond in a manner that is calm, caring, positive, matter-of-fact, and non-judgmental. These moments provide some of your best opportunities to connect with your child and continue his or her learning about tolerance and acceptance in a meaningful way.

(Reposted from April 3, 2018)

With the recent outbreak of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), many children may have questions about the virus or germs in general.

What are Germs?

Germs are everywhere! They are small and can enter our bodies without us knowing. Some germs can live on surfaces (e.g., doorknobs, countertops) for a short period of time. Once they invade a human body, however, they can make a person sick. The easiest way to prevent the spread of germs is through handwashing!

Bacteria are tiny cells that obtain nutrients from their environment, which in some cases may be the human body, and can reproduce either inside or outside of a human body (KidsHealth, 2018). Ear infections, strep throat, and pneumonia are all examples of illnesses that can be caused by bacteria. Antibiotics can be used to help kill unwanted bacteria inside of the body. However, not all bacteria are bad. Some bacteria are good and help to keep our bodies functioning normally!

Viruses need to be inside living cells to reproduce (KidsHealth, 2018). A virus cannot survive long outside of a host, like a human or an animal. Viruses can cause the common cold; the flu; sinusitis; bronchitis; or other diseases, such as COVID-19. Antibiotics cannot be used to kill viruses; however, antiviral medications and vaccines can help to fight viruses or even prevent viruses from making a person sick.

How to Talk to Children about the COVID-19 Virus

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) (2020) has developed some general principles for how to talk to children about the COVID-19 virus.

• Remain calm and reassuring.
• Make yourself available to listen and to talk.
• Avoid language that might blame others and lead to stigma.
• Pay attention to what children see or hear on television or media outlets.
• Provide information that is honest and accurate.
• Teach children everyday actions to reduce the spread of germs.

How to help Children practice Good Hygiene

Parents can help children prevent the spread of germs by teaching children specific manners to be used when they are sick and showing them how to maintain proper hygiene. According to the CDC (2020), some ways parents can teach children everyday actions to reduce the spread of germs are as follows:

• Remind children to stay away from people who are coughing or sneezing or who seem sick.
• Remind children to cough or sneeze into their elbow or a tissue, and then throw the tissue into the trash.
• Get children into a hand-washing habit.
  • Teach children to wash their hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after blowing their noses, coughing, sneezing, going to the bathroom, and before eating or preparing food. Have them sing the Happy Birthday song twice while they wash their hands; that will equal 20 seconds!
  • If soap and water are not available, teach them to use a hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizers should contain at least 60% alcohol. Supervise young children at home, school, and child care facilities when they use a hand sanitizer to prevent them from swallowing the product.

For more information about COVID-19, please visit the CDC’s website at https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/